Example using merge query in sql server in 2008

-- Create test table and primary key
CREATE TABLE test (col1 INT NOT NULL, col2 VARCHAR(100))
go
ALTER TABLE dbo.test ADD CONSTRAINT
 PK_test PRIMARY KEY CLUSTERED
 (
 col1
 ) WITH( STATISTICS_NORECOMPUTE = OFF, IGNORE_DUP_KEY = OFF,
                ALLOW_ROW_LOCKS = ON, ALLOW_PAGE_LOCKS = ON) ON [PRIMARY]

GO
-- Populate table
DECLARE @val INT
SELECT @val=1
WHILE @val < 100000
BEGIN
   INSERT INTO dbo.test(col1, col2) VALUES(@val,'TEST' + CAST(@val AS VARCHAR))
   SELECT @val=@val+1
END
GO

-- test SELECT record then INSERT or UPDATE based on result of SELECT statement (record exists)
DBCC DROPCLEANBUFFERS
GO
BEGIN TRANSACTION
DECLARE @cnt INTEGER
SELECT @cnt=COUNT(1) FROM test WHERE col1=2
IF @cnt > 0
  UPDATE test SET col2='update2' WHERE col1=2
ELSE
  INSERT INTO test VALUES (2,'update2')
GO
sp_lock
GO
COMMIT TRANSACTION

-- test SELECT record then INSERT or UPDATE based on result of SELECT statement (record does not exist)
DBCC DROPCLEANBUFFERS
GO
BEGIN TRANSACTION
DECLARE @cnt INTEGER
select @cnt=COUNT(1) from test WHERE col1=100001
IF @cnt > 0
  UPDATE test SET col2='update100001' WHERE col1=100001
ELSE
  INSERT INTO test VALUES (100001,'update100001')
GO
sp_lock
GO
COMMIT TRANSACTION

-- test UPDATE record then SELECT update rowcount and INSERT based on result of SELECT statement (record exists)
DBCC DROPCLEANBUFFERS
GO
BEGIN TRANSACTION
DECLARE @cnt INTEGER
UPDATE test SET col2='update4' WHERE col1=4
SELECT @cnt=@@ROWCOUNT
IF @cnt < 1
  INSERT INTO test VALUES (4,'update4')
GO
sp_lock
GO
COMMIT TRANSACTION

-- test UPDATE record then SELECT update rowcount and INSERT based on result of SELECT statement (record does not exist)
DBCC DROPCLEANBUFFERS
GO
BEGIN TRANSACTION
DECLARE @cnt INTEGER
UPDATE test SET col2='update100004' WHERE col1=100004
select @cnt=@@ROWCOUNT
IF @cnt < 1
  INSERT INTO test VALUES (100004,'update100004')
GO
sp_lock
GO
COMMIT TRANSACTION

-- test DELETE record then INSERT (record exists)
DBCC DROPCLEANBUFFERS
GO
BEGIN TRANSACTION
DELETE FROM test WHERE col1=40000
INSERT INTO test VALUES (40000,'update40000')
GO
sp_lock
GO
COMMIT TRANSACTION

-- test DELETE record then INSERT (record does not exist)
DBCC DROPCLEANBUFFERS
GO
BEGIN TRANSACTION
DELETE FROM test WHERE col1=100002
INSERT INTO test VALUES (100002,'update100002')
GO
sp_lock
GO
COMMIT TRANSACTION

-- test MERGE record (record exists)
DBCC DROPCLEANBUFFERS
GO
BEGIN TRANSACTION
MERGE test AS TARGET
USING (SELECT 50000 as col1,'update50000' as col2) AS SOURCE
ON (TARGET.col1=SOURCE.col1)
WHEN MATCHED THEN
  UPDATE SET TARGET.col2=SOURCE.col2
WHEN NOT MATCHED THEN
  INSERT (col1,col2) VALUES (SOURCE.col1,SOURCE.col2);
GO
sp_lock
GO
COMMIT TRANSACTION

--select * from test

-- test MERGE record (record does not exist)
DBCC DROPCLEANBUFFERS
GO
BEGIN TRANSACTION
MERGE test AS TARGET
USING (SELECT 100003 as col1,'update100003' as col2) AS SOURCE
ON (TARGET.col1=SOURCE.col1)
WHEN MATCHED THEN
  UPDATE SET TARGET.col2=SOURCE.col2
WHEN NOT MATCHED THEN
  INSERT (col1,col2) VALUES (SOURCE.col1,SOURCE.col2);
GO
sp_lock
GO
COMMIT TRANSACTION
-- cleanup
DROP TABLE test
GO